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BROKEN by LIFEHOUSE

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there's the healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I would, would be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there is healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin)
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

Ano 'to?
Narinig 'ko ang kantang 'to sa trailer ng The Time Traveler's Wife. It is a story about how an ordinary woman fell in love with an extra-ordinary man. yes. Extra-ordinary because he involuntary disappears every time he felt a strong emotion like stress.

ISIP KO
Naisip ko siya. Kung babasahin ang lyrics ng kanta, pareho sa nararamdaman ko. Alam kong mas ok na ako ngayon kesa kung ikukumpara mo 'ko nung naging malinaw sakin ang lahat. Oo mas ok na ako ngayon. Pero nung marinig ko itong kantang to, memories rushed into my mind and flashback every thing. Di ko alam kung anong nararamdaman ko at lalong hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman. Kaya ko na ang sarili ko, nagagawa ko nang matapos at maisalba ang isang buong araw ng hindi ko siya naaalala. Kaso, di ko pa din mapigilang maalala siya sa tuwing:

napapatingin ako sa labas ng school (looking for his car parked on the street)
nakaririnig ko ang salitang "LAX"
meron things about UP na nasa paligid ko
may nagsasabi ng "IYO NA! IYO NA!"
nakakakita ako ng TFN book.
nasa NURSING BLDG ako. Pakiramdam ko, sobrang lapit ko na sa kanya at anytime pwede ko siyang makita. Alam kong nasa iisang building lang kami with the maximum of SEVEN FLOORS between us. Yun lang, seven floors..lang..

CONFUSED
Nalilito ako. Alam kong hindi ako dapat malito pero nalilito na ko kaya nakakalito diba? Bakit ako nalilito kung alam kong hindi ako dapat malito? Something bothers my mind..

ALAM KO, KASO..
Masakit kapag hindi mo alam kung anong makakapagpasaya sa'yo. Pero mas masakit kung alam na alam mo na kung anong magpapaligaya sa'yo kaso hindi ko siya makuha..

-I'M BARELY HOLDING ON TO YOU-







This was my hair before. Yeah, it's a long silky black hair. Until, a crazy foreign matter penetrated my mind. The bulb lighted my mind to go to the salon and cut my hair. The plan was, trim the edge as little as can. Then put a shape on the sides.



And now, this is ME! all i can say is WHAT THE FUCK?! haha.. it's kinda cute naman, right? hmm.. I think I'll start RIGHT HERE! New hair style, New Life, New MISS BEHAVE!




Sa tuwing ako ay kumakain, kaunti man ito o madami, malaki man o maliit, at kahit gaano man ito kasarap,pag dating sa huli, nakakaramdam ako ng parang gusto kong isuka ang aking kinain. Nakakainis. Ayokong isuka yung kinain ko eh. Lalo na kung masarap. I mean, di naman ako kumakain ng hindi masarap na pagkain, pero minsan, masarap talaga, tapos makakaramdam ako ng pagsusuka.

Maihahalintulad ko ito sa pagmamahal mo sa isang tao. Minsan kahit gaano na kayo katagal, kahit gaano kayo kasweet sa isa't isa, kahit gaano ninyo kamahal ang isa't isa, at kahit gaano kayo ka-OK, dadating at dadating din ang panahong, isusuko mo siya sa di malamang dahil kagaya ng pagsuka mo sa masarap mong kinaen..

Di malamang dahilan. Totoo yun. Nung mahalin mo ang isang tao, wala ka din namang dahilan di ba? bigla mo na lamang naramdamang mahal mo na siya.. Kagaya lang din yun sa pagkawala ng pagmamahal mo sa kanya.. Di malamang dahilan. Biglaan. Nakakagulat. At higit sa lahat, hinding hindi ka makakaiwas kahit saan ka pa pumunta at kahit saan ka pa magtago..




"Over You"

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.




ACCEPTANCE
-last stage sa stages of grieving
-most delikado daw
-last but definitely not the least

Nasa acceptance na ako ngayon, narealize kong dapat na kong magmove on, at dapat ko nang kalimutan ang lahat.. Wala nanamang mangyayari at wala namang nangyari. Sa totoo lang, kahit mag-stay ako sa situation o mag-move on ako, balewala naman yun sa kanya.. kung mag-sstay ako sa situation, ako lang mahihirapan otherwise magmove on na lang ako db..

ACCEPTANCE na nga ba??

hayy..di ko din alam..every time na maaalala ko, napupunta ako sa DENIAL.. ang gusto ko lang ngayon, matapos na 'to.. para naman, maging ok na ko..

WHICH IS WHICH?
Kahit anong gawin ko, tumambling pa ko, wala namang magagawa yun.. Ewan ko ba kung bakit pinapagod ko pa ang sarili ko sa kakaisip dito, which is OBVIOUSLY, talo naman ako FROM the START.

BAKIT?
Napakalawak ng tanong na bakit. Andaming pumapasok sa isip ko at syempre sa isip mo kapag nabasa o narinig mo ang salitang BAKIT?

laman ng isip ko:
-Bakit ako ganito?
-Bakit ako nagkakaganito?
-Bakit ganun siya?
-Bakit hindi na niya ko kinakausap?
-Bakit kasi naging sweet pa siya?
-Bakit ko pa to tinatype?
-Bakit ako gumagawa ng walang kwentang blog?
-Bakit meron IKAW at AKO pero walang TAYO?

HAPPINESS
Masaya ako kasi nakilala ko siya, alam ko naman sa umpisa pa lang na walang patutunguhan yun, pero mas ginusto ko pa ding umpisahan ang isang bagay na alam kong anytime pwedeng mawala. At ngayon na "WALA" na, nasaktan ako. Wala akong sinisisi sa sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon, hindi naman siya nagkulang sa pagpapaalala sakin, pero kahit na may nararamdaman akong kirot sa damdamin ko, mas malaki pa din yung kasiyahang nararamdaman ko dahil sa nagkakilala kami, naging close kami (which is hindi lahat ng studyante nagagawa yun), masaya yung duty namen, masaya yung mga messages niya at masaya kasi even just for a moment napansin niya ko, pinuna niya yung mga bagay sa paligid ko, naging concern siya sakin, binigyan niya ko ng oras niya kahit na hectic yung schedule niya, nag-care siya sakin, nagsmile siya sakin, pinatawa niya ko, pinakilig niya ko, at higit sa lahat binigyan niya ko ng dahilan para mahalin ang nursing..

HILING
Sana maging masaya siya sa buhay niya. Honestly,gusto ko siyang maging masaya, sa tingin ko ang isang katulad niya ay hindi dapat maging malungkot.. mabuti siyang tao.. Sana maging masaya na ako kahit wala na siya. Sana matutunan ko pa ding tumawa at kiligin kahit na hindi na siya ang nasa harapan ko. At higit sa lahat, sana hindi dumating yung time na babalik siya sakin,(as if naman!haha..taas ng pangarap!)baka kasi pag dumating yung time na bumalik siya sakin, wala na tong feeling na 'to at i-reject ko langs siya(haha asa naman!)

BROKEN by LIFEHOUSE

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there's the healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I would, would be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there is healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin)
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

Ano 'to?
Narinig 'ko ang kantang 'to sa trailer ng The Time Traveler's Wife. It is a story about how an ordinary woman fell in love with an extra-ordinary man. yes. Extra-ordinary because he involuntary disappears every time he felt a strong emotion like stress.

ISIP KO
Naisip ko siya. Kung babasahin ang lyrics ng kanta, pareho sa nararamdaman ko. Alam kong mas ok na ako ngayon kesa kung ikukumpara mo 'ko nung naging malinaw sakin ang lahat. Oo mas ok na ako ngayon. Pero nung marinig ko itong kantang to, memories rushed into my mind and flashback every thing. Di ko alam kung anong nararamdaman ko at lalong hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman. Kaya ko na ang sarili ko, nagagawa ko nang matapos at maisalba ang isang buong araw ng hindi ko siya naaalala. Kaso, di ko pa din mapigilang maalala siya sa tuwing:

napapatingin ako sa labas ng school (looking for his car parked on the street)
nakaririnig ko ang salitang "LAX"
meron things about UP na nasa paligid ko
may nagsasabi ng "IYO NA! IYO NA!"
nakakakita ako ng TFN book.
nasa NURSING BLDG ako. Pakiramdam ko, sobrang lapit ko na sa kanya at anytime pwede ko siyang makita. Alam kong nasa iisang building lang kami with the maximum of SEVEN FLOORS between us. Yun lang, seven floors..lang..

CONFUSED
Nalilito ako. Alam kong hindi ako dapat malito pero nalilito na ko kaya nakakalito diba? Bakit ako nalilito kung alam kong hindi ako dapat malito? Something bothers my mind..

ALAM KO, KASO..
Masakit kapag hindi mo alam kung anong makakapagpasaya sa'yo. Pero mas masakit kung alam na alam mo na kung anong magpapaligaya sa'yo kaso hindi ko siya makuha..

-I'M BARELY HOLDING ON TO YOU-







This was my hair before. Yeah, it's a long silky black hair. Until, a crazy foreign matter penetrated my mind. The bulb lighted my mind to go to the salon and cut my hair. The plan was, trim the edge as little as can. Then put a shape on the sides.



And now, this is ME! all i can say is WHAT THE FUCK?! haha.. it's kinda cute naman, right? hmm.. I think I'll start RIGHT HERE! New hair style, New Life, New MISS BEHAVE!




Sa tuwing ako ay kumakain, kaunti man ito o madami, malaki man o maliit, at kahit gaano man ito kasarap,pag dating sa huli, nakakaramdam ako ng parang gusto kong isuka ang aking kinain. Nakakainis. Ayokong isuka yung kinain ko eh. Lalo na kung masarap. I mean, di naman ako kumakain ng hindi masarap na pagkain, pero minsan, masarap talaga, tapos makakaramdam ako ng pagsusuka.

Maihahalintulad ko ito sa pagmamahal mo sa isang tao. Minsan kahit gaano na kayo katagal, kahit gaano kayo kasweet sa isa't isa, kahit gaano ninyo kamahal ang isa't isa, at kahit gaano kayo ka-OK, dadating at dadating din ang panahong, isusuko mo siya sa di malamang dahil kagaya ng pagsuka mo sa masarap mong kinaen..

Di malamang dahilan. Totoo yun. Nung mahalin mo ang isang tao, wala ka din namang dahilan di ba? bigla mo na lamang naramdamang mahal mo na siya.. Kagaya lang din yun sa pagkawala ng pagmamahal mo sa kanya.. Di malamang dahilan. Biglaan. Nakakagulat. At higit sa lahat, hinding hindi ka makakaiwas kahit saan ka pa pumunta at kahit saan ka pa magtago..




"Over You"

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.




ACCEPTANCE
-last stage sa stages of grieving
-most delikado daw
-last but definitely not the least

Nasa acceptance na ako ngayon, narealize kong dapat na kong magmove on, at dapat ko nang kalimutan ang lahat.. Wala nanamang mangyayari at wala namang nangyari. Sa totoo lang, kahit mag-stay ako sa situation o mag-move on ako, balewala naman yun sa kanya.. kung mag-sstay ako sa situation, ako lang mahihirapan otherwise magmove on na lang ako db..

ACCEPTANCE na nga ba??

hayy..di ko din alam..every time na maaalala ko, napupunta ako sa DENIAL.. ang gusto ko lang ngayon, matapos na 'to.. para naman, maging ok na ko..

WHICH IS WHICH?
Kahit anong gawin ko, tumambling pa ko, wala namang magagawa yun.. Ewan ko ba kung bakit pinapagod ko pa ang sarili ko sa kakaisip dito, which is OBVIOUSLY, talo naman ako FROM the START.

BAKIT?
Napakalawak ng tanong na bakit. Andaming pumapasok sa isip ko at syempre sa isip mo kapag nabasa o narinig mo ang salitang BAKIT?

laman ng isip ko:
-Bakit ako ganito?
-Bakit ako nagkakaganito?
-Bakit ganun siya?
-Bakit hindi na niya ko kinakausap?
-Bakit kasi naging sweet pa siya?
-Bakit ko pa to tinatype?
-Bakit ako gumagawa ng walang kwentang blog?
-Bakit meron IKAW at AKO pero walang TAYO?

HAPPINESS
Masaya ako kasi nakilala ko siya, alam ko naman sa umpisa pa lang na walang patutunguhan yun, pero mas ginusto ko pa ding umpisahan ang isang bagay na alam kong anytime pwedeng mawala. At ngayon na "WALA" na, nasaktan ako. Wala akong sinisisi sa sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon, hindi naman siya nagkulang sa pagpapaalala sakin, pero kahit na may nararamdaman akong kirot sa damdamin ko, mas malaki pa din yung kasiyahang nararamdaman ko dahil sa nagkakilala kami, naging close kami (which is hindi lahat ng studyante nagagawa yun), masaya yung duty namen, masaya yung mga messages niya at masaya kasi even just for a moment napansin niya ko, pinuna niya yung mga bagay sa paligid ko, naging concern siya sakin, binigyan niya ko ng oras niya kahit na hectic yung schedule niya, nag-care siya sakin, nagsmile siya sakin, pinatawa niya ko, pinakilig niya ko, at higit sa lahat binigyan niya ko ng dahilan para mahalin ang nursing..

HILING
Sana maging masaya siya sa buhay niya. Honestly,gusto ko siyang maging masaya, sa tingin ko ang isang katulad niya ay hindi dapat maging malungkot.. mabuti siyang tao.. Sana maging masaya na ako kahit wala na siya. Sana matutunan ko pa ding tumawa at kiligin kahit na hindi na siya ang nasa harapan ko. At higit sa lahat, sana hindi dumating yung time na babalik siya sakin,(as if naman!haha..taas ng pangarap!)baka kasi pag dumating yung time na bumalik siya sakin, wala na tong feeling na 'to at i-reject ko langs siya(haha asa naman!)